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Where Did It All Go Wrong??

February 13, 2018

 There is mostly a single commonality behind why all the relationships have failed. Now you must be thinking, “One common reason; Impossible right?” Wrong. Come on people! Do any of the past reasons you have been given to as why you have broken up ever-seemed “lame” to you? You cannot even own up to the fact that the reason it is not working is actually YOU.

 

Yep, it is you.

 

No not him, you. Anyway let's move on.

 

Everyone, whether they know it or not has expectations in their relationship, and they want their desires to be fulfilled in the relationship. If they are not met, then you have just been dumped, or cheated on. Either way, your relationship is over, as in “We are never, ever, ever getting back together” done, as T-Swift would put it.

 

 

I am not ignorant or subjective to ignore the supposed benefits of these relationships. Maybe in your opinion, I emphasize too heavily on the drawbacks, but I am just being realistic about the issue - nothing more. Call me a cynic or a realist or even (gasp), a pessimist! Either way I am trying to look at the bigger picture and determine whether the advantages of relationships outweigh the disadvantages.

 

I really just want to know why:

A) Relationships fail

 B) why they succeed.

 

Now granted I have not ever been in a "real" relationship such as this; meaning I have no experience, but the statistics do not lie. I may not understand the mechanics of dating in application, but I do see the theoretical results and to be honest… they suck. While relationships have the ability to teach individuals to grow up and understand what they really want in life, I feel that some relationships are formed for all the wrong reasons.

 

Take for example “Romeo and Juliet.” What was the major flaw of their relationship exactly? Where to start? Was it because of their age, uncontrolled hormones/lust, fake love, deep-seeded issues in their families, etc.?

If you read the story, the personality feel from Romeo is an egotistical, hormone driven, rash individual, and Juliet is a naïve, trusting, girl that believed too much in fairy-tail romances (Shakespeare). In addition, it was even more mundane that they decided to get married after only knowing each other for less than a day. Talk about a premature nuptial! They knew nothing of each other besides the fact that they were extremely attracted to each other, and they thought they could build a long-lasting healthy relationship from that.

 

 

That's right no. It's Preposterous!!

 

The question is why do people form relationships if they know that their needs will not be met. According to CBN, reasons people date are:

  • It is fun

  • It is a huge part of socialization

  •  It builds personality

  • It allows people to experiment with gender roles

  • It allows people to learn about intimacy

  • It serves as an opportunity to establish a unique

  • It is meaningful relationship with a person of the opposite sex

  • It provides companionship

  • It helps you find the right mate

  • It overall prepares people for marriage

Even though these reasons are from a Christian perspective, they do not just apply to people of religion. Just like the song, “Everybody” by Ingrid Michael says “Everybody wants to love….everybody wants to be loved”: saying that all people, regardless of religion affiliation or other preferences, seek out love in any and all different forms.

 

You are probably wondering why people marry. According to “Psychology Today”, it seems that most people enter relationships with expectations for the “perfect” relationship, or they believe they will find “the one” that they should marry. During the holidays, you will not be lonely, anymore right? There is a personal connection made, strong physical attraction, and shared views and goals; so maybe by being with them they help you learn more about your own personality.

 

Although the biggest reasons are probably more for love, money, and heck, maybe it is even for the sex! Other reasons include safety, citizenship, duty, rash decision, loneliness, or to feel whole, but all of these can diminish over time.

 

So which one is the best reason to marry someone?

 

In addition, more importantly, how many people do you think actually marry for the right reason?

 

Does the reason relate to John Legend’s song, “Stay With You:” “Through the years I know I will stay and in the end I know that we’ll find love so beautiful and divine we’ll be lovers for a lifetime, yeah?”

 

Or is it like Katy Perry’s song, “Waking up in Vegas?” The lyrics say, “You got to help me out it's all a blur last night … Oh, did we get hitched last night dressed up like Elvis?”

 

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